I've been engaged for a little over a year and we've been dating for a year before that. The marriage date is late this summer but I don't know if I'm really feeling up to it anymore. I used to feel so alive and excited to get married and to spend the rest of my life with him but ever since we moved in together things have changed. That passion has slowly fizzled and it seems like we're more of just roommates. I'm worried that I'm not in love anymore
We Get Along Great, But Am I Still in Love?
When we go out with out friends they always compliment us on how well we get along. They say they've never seen a couple who gets along so well together. And we do. But our relationship is actually pretty stale. We don't have sex very often and when we do it's usually the same way at the same time of day. When we go out we usually do stuff with friends because it's pretty boring when we go out just the two of us. And when we're home together, we usually end up watching TV or we're both zone out on our laptops doing different things. It didn't use to be like this we used to be so passionate and excited together.
We still get along really well together. In fact, I still want to get married if only for the fact that we hardly ever argue and we're so comfortable together. But I'm worried that I might not be in love anymore. Am I still in Love?
What is Love.
Dear What is Love,
You ask a question that's been asked by many brides and grooms for centuries. Even poets, singers and philosophers have asked this question. Many couples go through spells in their relationship where they just don't feel connected anymore. They don't feel that spark with each other. They may even still care for each other deeply, they just don't feel that passion they once did. They often end up asking "Am I still in love?"
I see couples every day who question whether they're still in love or not. Some of them are like you and get along perfectly well with their partner but just feel no spark. Some of them are on the other side of the spectrum where they don't get along at all with their partner but they feel a lot of spark.
Whether You're Still In Love Is Up To You
The simple truth is whether or not you're still in love is really up to you. You're the one with the prerogative over your feelings so you can't rely on your friends (or even counselors) to tell you whether you're still in love or not. It's a personal decision that only you can make. Besides, you're the one who has to live with your decision you make about whether you're in love or not so you better make sure you're comfortable with it - without worrying what your friends think.
To help you decide whether or not you're still in love you have to do a lot of searching within yourself. You need to find what does love mean to you? Ask yourself questions like: What makes me feel electrified in a relationship? What makes me feel committed? What makes me feel an abiding comfort and safety? Once you find these answers then you can answer for yourself whether you're still in love or not. And then you can make decisions about what you want to do with your engagement.